tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55812051015066856032011-07-30T11:46:34.581-04:00The Awareness Consortium <br>taking the taunts off of the playground one post at a timeLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger2431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-24452546970267182982009-01-23T13:52:00.002-05:002009-01-23T13:56:12.068-05:00

And the big thing was that Clint seriously immersed himself into the role he played. Not only was he the lead actor of the film, but he directed it as well. And if you know anything about the movie, Clint and his team submerged themselves into the Hmong community. Despite what most people think, Hmong is not (and never was) a nation or a type of “nationality.” The Hmong people are a collection of

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-32381812672682203232008-12-22T07:35:00.001-05:002008-12-22T07:35:00.824-05:00

We have a lot of experience with doctor visits, so here are some tips that we’ve learned the hard way. My present to you. Try to schedule first thing in the morning. The doctor will (hopefully) still be on schedule, you’ll have shorter waiting times, and there will (usually) be fewer people in the waiting room sneezing and coughing all over you. Dress your child in clothes that are easy to

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-76509160632140313712008-12-19T07:33:00.000-05:002008-12-19T07:33:00.924-05:00

I'm having a hard time putting things into words, really. Not a usual complaint, in fact most of the time I need to dial down the verbosity, but sometimes I do get stuck. Thanksgiving passed by in a whir of Thanksgivinglessness. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It was a harder holiday than usual, not least because the day before the big turkey day we had a discussion that contained the topic of

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-72741079577342312102008-12-17T07:30:00.000-05:002008-12-17T07:30:00.504-05:00

Busted has a post up about anxiety. We talk a lot about the pain of grief, about the cost, the emotion, and the sensation of loss. Those aspects of it are all easy to understand. They have a clear source. Just about everyone can comprehend those emotions (even if some people have a hard time realizing how long we continue to feel them). But I think the anxiety surprises everyone. I know it caught

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-29371791233582852822008-11-18T08:09:00.001-05:002008-11-18T08:09:00.754-05:00

The Sunday after Easter is often the time, in Christian churches, when the story of doubting Thomas is told. If you are like me and are either a really shitty Christian or not a Christian at all you may not know that the phrase "doubting Thomas" comes from the story in the bible where the apostle Thomas refuses to believe that Jesus has risen from the dead until he, personally, "sees the wounds

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-17854212695600335672008-11-17T08:06:00.000-05:002008-11-17T08:06:00.212-05:00

A group of people, lounging around on a worn out purple velveteen couch, suddenly stop talking. "Hey, uh, anyone seen Helen?" asks one particularly brash character. "Last time I saw her was 9 am, and she was popping herbal tranquilizers again," replies one of them in a matter-of-fact voice. "Oooh, I love those," interjects one of them, an airy-fairy creature known as Helen Hippy. "They work so

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-86049357132850408552008-11-16T07:03:00.000-05:002008-11-16T07:03:00.126-05:00

I have talked with or read posts from many people who have adopted either conventionally or used donor eggs or sperm and they all say the same thing, "It doesn't matter at all! This is our child 1000%"Really? Does it really not matter at all? Why do we try so hard to have our biological children if it really doesn't matter? Perhaps the view from here really is just that much different than the

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-55744300649094356812008-11-14T07:34:00.000-05:002008-11-14T07:34:01.079-05:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-22202800550317781952008-11-13T15:27:00.000-05:002008-11-13T15:27:00.963-05:00

I wanted to respond to one of the comments on the post about my first visit with the RE. I was stunned by the truth in her statement:The angry part of me is that we feel surprised by being treated as human beings. So often in this world of infertility, miscarriage, and treatment, we are made to feel responsible, to feel like a patient, and to feel as though we are wasting others' time. Your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-85497141403004593412008-11-13T07:24:00.000-05:002008-11-13T07:24:00.509-05:00

When we brought Jenna home from the hospital, our pediatric surgeons strongly recommended a surgery to place a “button” for gastronomy feedings. We resisted, naively believing that her feeding issues would resolve in a few months and that we could manage nasogastric (NG) feedings (a tube inserted in the nose that goes to the stomach) until then, avoiding the need for surgery. It wasn’t long until

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-29575663723840909922008-11-12T15:21:00.000-05:002008-11-12T15:21:00.501-05:00

She made sure that her 7 year old daughter was on vacation with her sister for a couple of weeks. Luckily the timing worked out for this yearly trip. Her father drove her to the hospital that morning, after she told him that she was having surgery and he would need to pick her up in a couple of days. Even though they lived together, they were not a close family and he didn't question what the

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-79973681331399673692008-11-12T07:18:00.000-05:002008-11-12T07:18:00.199-05:00

I wrote the following letter for reading at my dad’s sentencing relating to the violation of a PPO as well as aggravated stalking. June 14, 2006 Dad: I regret the fact that I am unable to be here today to read this letter to you myself; however, I am in Las Vegas with my Union at the UAW Constitutional Convention as a delegate for my Local, helping to make a difference in the lives of others.

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-56218462365275096902008-11-11T14:42:00.000-05:002008-11-11T14:42:01.130-05:00

I haven't written about all the ups and downs, backs and forths, various changes we've made in the J-man's medications, because, really? What's the point? I'd just be writing the same post again and again. He'll take a new medication for 5, 6, 8, maybe even 10 or 12 days. And then, he'll start refusing to take it. And he'll lose privileges. His beloved Bionicles will go into the attic. His legos

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-42027039102623053202008-11-11T07:39:00.000-05:002008-11-11T07:39:00.667-05:00

For those who are new to my life, 6 year old kiddo is allergies to the following: milk, eggs, wheat, soy, peanut, tree nut, beef, pork, fish, and shellfish. When I tell people about kiddo’s allergies I generally get the same four responses: Oh my! What does he eat?!How horrible for kiddo!How horrible for you!Will he ever grow out of them?I’m betting one of those went through YOUR mind just

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-85782116410362421192008-11-10T14:29:00.001-05:002008-11-10T14:29:00.407-05:00

Twenty-three. That's the stopgap I have, that's the number where it stops. Just twenty-three. Twenty-three is the number of pills I have left before I start to try to wean myself off of them. I started the anti-depressants almost eight months ago, on the first of February. The postnatal depression was simply too much for me, I wasn't functioning. My depression manifested as anxiety, and

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-2714717697007071742008-11-10T07:24:00.000-05:002008-11-10T07:24:00.800-05:00

I've chickened out on this post for over two weeks. I even posted that I was going to post it in an attempt to dare myself into hitting publish and still it sat in my drafts list, taunting me. I've rewritten and deleted these introductory paragraphs endlessly. I've tried to explain or justify some of the things I wrote, to soften them, to give background, out of fear that some one reading who is

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-53136608201015966062008-11-09T07:12:00.000-05:002008-11-09T07:12:00.716-05:00

What is it like to be a mother when your child is gone — when all physical evidence points to a recent birth (pain, scars, fatigue) but your child has died? I am a mother, but my arms are empty. I gave birth to our son on March 9th. Thomas died just 20 hours later on March 10th. He was our first child.So I am in fact a mother — but instead of changing diapers, nursing and staying up all night

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-40981425766989647942008-11-07T07:33:00.000-05:002008-11-07T07:33:01.017-05:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-86691655460248597022008-11-06T14:13:00.000-05:002008-11-06T14:13:00.204-05:00

I've been wanting to do a day in the life of Caleigh for some time now. I finally got inspiration from Ellie's parents when they blogged about Feeding Gut Girl.Back when Caleigh was getting over 24 doses of medicines a day I didn't even have time to think about journaling our day. We barely made it day by day and just keeping Caleigh's schedule back then was good enough. Now that things are going

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-87290365829232705462008-11-06T07:00:00.000-05:002008-11-06T07:00:03.041-05:00

The night before Lina got sick, I didn’t go to the hospital. It was Tuesday, January 8th. It was her due date. I had gone back to work the day before. That morning I went to the NICU, because I wanted to meet the doctor. Greenwich has 2 doctors who alternate weeks being “on”. I had met the other one the previous Friday when Lina got up there and over the weekend, and I wanted to touch base with

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-39958690433383815232008-11-05T14:31:00.000-05:002008-11-05T14:31:01.161-05:00

When I was a little girl and up to and through my growing up I was devotedly in love with my Grandfather. He was pretty much the center of my universe, my go-to person for advice and perspective, and the man that all other men would be measured to. (reason 3,528 why I am single) We went on adventures together in his old brown Pontiac, The Brown Bomber, and we had a silly way of repeating things

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-2434205720497206792008-11-05T07:19:00.001-05:002008-11-05T07:19:02.536-05:00

A heartfelt thank you to all who commented, gave me suggestions and offered to help us deal with this mess.By way of clarification, I wanted to note that the Doodles aren't definitively lost, via administrative snafu or otherwise (as far as we know). Rather, they are simply subject to the same horrific standard operating procedures as everyone else's babies. This isn't a terrible mistake that

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-71003222192647572402008-11-04T14:38:00.000-05:002008-11-04T14:38:00.947-05:00

I was reading an article the other day about a woman who actually seemed to be thankful that she was a (recovering) alcoholic. By her reasoning, if she hadn’t been an alcoholic, she said, she would never have met so many other people who needed her help. To me, this is like taking the glass, breaking it, gluing it back together with a few pieces missing, and putting in the water while it’s

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-38932162949129991002008-11-04T07:27:00.000-05:002008-11-04T07:27:01.060-05:00

Many years ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. When I finally got the diagnosis the relief was instant, like a wave that pushed me under to a place where I no longer had to panic and struggle, I could simply drown amongst the answers. Extreme sufferers of BPD also have dissociation, which I had for so many years that it has changed all of my memories, thoughts and feelings

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-55644678371775605842008-11-03T14:22:00.000-05:002008-11-03T14:22:00.223-05:00

J and I recently made the conscious decision to stop calling K's firstmom his "birthmom". J didn't like the term in general, due to the negative connotation that it tends to have here in the U.S.; I also felt like it doesn't accurately reflect her role in his life. I'll call K's firstmom T. T did not just give her child life, an amazing gift in and of itself, but birthmom felt like a term that

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-64753360229070627732008-11-03T07:29:00.000-05:002008-11-03T07:29:01.471-05:00

On day 3, my milk came in. I had my bath and I came back down stairs, and I looked down, and there were two identical milk patches on my clothing. The next day, I stood in the closet, getting dressed, watching rivulets of milk make their way down my body. Eyes are not the only things that weep for our dead babies.I walked down the aisle in the drug store, the aisle of baby things, looking neither

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-73245252197379765612008-11-02T07:03:00.001-05:002008-11-02T07:03:00.742-05:00

I am so freaking tired of this question. I realize that this question is like second nature to most people. It comes out in unison with "Hello" most of the time. I just wish that people would realize what goes on in my mind when you as ME this. I'm different than most people that you come in contact with during a normal day. Most people that I talk to realize that I'm different, but they just

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-40322801799552471862008-10-31T07:28:00.000-04:002008-10-31T07:28:01.193-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-73489072690113536102008-10-30T14:44:00.000-04:002008-10-30T14:44:01.088-04:00

It’s hard to believe that it’s nearly a year since my first loss and only 4-1/2 months since my last loss. But I am starting to put the pieces together. Here’s the list of causes my Reproductive Endocrinologist outlined for me at my early June visit as well as my status in each of these areas. I hope this may help others who have experienced multiple losses advocate for the help they need.

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-42960343099429609682008-10-30T07:38:00.000-04:002008-10-30T07:38:00.938-04:00

These two posts go together...Seek First to UnderstandMy hope is that some of the pain in Adoption World could be healed if people with a nemesis could really imagine walking in the shoes of their nemesis.I'm on boards that are exclusively for adoptive parents, and it's disappointing how little compassion and respect there is for firstparents (on occasion). I'm aware that there are boards for

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-4251491531600566602008-10-29T14:21:00.000-04:002008-10-29T14:21:01.675-04:00

Yeah, seems a convenient declaration from a woman whose eggs suck! Seems a no brainer I'm saying this with such careless conviction. But you might agree I thought this way before I was told to find eggs from someone else's basket.When 3 days after my 41st birthday I received a call from my Gyn that my FSH was 12.8, I did fast homework on what that meant before seeing my first RE a month

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-83921039578070415582008-10-29T07:33:00.000-04:002008-10-29T07:33:00.577-04:00

The nurse poked her head into the pastel waiting room at MV Hospital, “Are you with the young lady having a C-section? Yes? Well I just heard a very healthy cry from that delivery room.” I sat stunned and completely overwhelmed, my son Alex had just been born.When we first began trying to get pregnant, my husband Dave and I talked about the possibility of adopting should nature fail to take its

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-90087217583397439942008-10-28T14:17:00.000-04:002008-10-28T14:17:01.645-04:00

The thought of surrogacy fleetingly crossed my mind a time or two before Frank and I ever attempted pregnancy for ourselves. Then we battled against IF and I learned about fear. If not for that struggle I might still be here today as a surrogate, but I know that my mental position would not be the same. Dare I say that infertility has become almost a cursed blessing of sorts? Infertility is a

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-46359672016307816572008-10-28T07:21:00.000-04:002008-10-28T07:21:00.962-04:00

(this is not fiction. Oh, how I wish this were fiction) Friday, 6:15am. My son is asleep beside me. Downstairs I hear my husband getting ready to leave for work. I get up to pee. The toilet paper comes away with blood. I’m five weeks pregnant. I decide that this is not happening. A smear of blood, and a small gray bump. Something gray. Spotting. And something gray. I focus on the spotting. I

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-25246082539692443232008-10-27T14:37:00.000-04:002008-10-27T14:37:01.985-04:00

So much has been happening in my life these days, yet so little of it pertains to my father any more. There are days, particularly this time of year, where it feels quite strange not to be at odds with something my dad has or hasn’t done. While I’m thankful that things have seemed to come to a point of almost eerie calm, there are times when I let some less-than-productive thoughts in. I miss

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-31600496312849041782008-10-27T07:24:00.000-04:002008-10-27T07:24:00.549-04:00

I'm not sure what to think about this. Hallmark has a series called "Cards with real words for real life." If you go on their website one of the options is "Help Cope with trying to get pregnant, having a miscarriage or an aging parent." The above card is Hallmark's answer to showing support for an infertile friend or family member.Now on the one hand, I see this as a breakthrough in

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-62973931896619468042008-10-26T07:40:00.000-04:002008-10-26T07:40:00.471-04:00

I was thinking this morning about the transition between TTASP and choosing to live child free. You all know the “Infertility Island” metaphor right? To recap, there’s a ferry that runs between Infertility Island and the mainland, call it Motherworld. And the ferry comes, but you never know when your ticket is going to be called. You wait and wait and hope and wave goodbye to your friends and

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-26730296193937974572008-10-24T07:38:00.000-04:002008-10-24T07:38:00.515-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-3920485449358530712008-10-23T14:34:00.000-04:002008-10-23T14:34:00.985-04:00

In a few days, I will turn 41. I will be offline, hanging out at one of my favourite places in the world. I am not sure how peaceful it will be (we will be there with four adults, two kids, two puppies and a grown up dog) but I know it will be happy. Last year my birthday was a very big deal. My friends and co-workers pooled their resources and sent me to BlogHer in Chicago. And there was

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-77359359929515807442008-10-23T07:21:00.000-04:002008-10-23T07:21:00.513-04:00

A few days ago I was asked in the comments to talk more about what people can do or say when someone they know experiences a miscarriage or a similar situation. It has been really hard for me to answer that question because I know that ultimately I can only speak for myself. While so many of us share the same thread of miscarriage in our lives, we all deal with the experience differently. Some

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-85418806478963874692008-10-22T14:30:00.000-04:002008-10-22T14:30:00.205-04:00

I often wonder why my dad decided to marry my mom. They only knew each other for 6 months before they were married. I asked him but he gave me very vague answers. They loved each other. I do think that they found a place where they did indeed love each other but it was mixed with so much sorrow and pain. My father knew he was gay from a very early age. I think he said 6 or 7. I can't help but

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-70170869631174876082008-10-22T07:28:00.000-04:002008-10-22T07:28:00.499-04:00

Music has always been a big emotional trigger for me. Certain songs can instantly transport me back to a time or a place in my life, to the point that I re-experience actual sensations. I cannot listen to U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" without feeling cold and damp (long story). Any song from Elton John's "Live In Australia" will make we want to curl up with a blanket and go to

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-67077437102711326532008-10-21T14:26:00.000-04:002008-10-21T14:26:00.742-04:00

Before Jenna was even born, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. I won’t go into all my reasons here - that’s another post all together - but when we learned about the extent of all of her intestinal issues and her problems with feeding, I immediately assumed that my hopes for breastfeeding were dashed. I’m so thankful I asked and that we had fantastic doctors and nurses who were encouraging and

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-88347108135103799212008-10-21T07:18:00.000-04:002008-10-21T07:18:00.758-04:00

Is to tell you about the loss of innocence, mine. The innocent ideal that once pg, nine months = baby, the naivete that there is any "safe" point.Hannah was my second loss. My first one had been so early and so unexpected, I dealt with things somewhat pragmatically. I didn't entertain the thought it would happen again - these things happen. That was what they told me - and at this point in my

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-59118715819347504762008-10-20T14:27:00.000-04:002008-10-20T14:27:00.440-04:00

Note: In later posts I "out" these two individuals - "L" becomes Leah and "Miss D" becomes Belinda.I met her three days ago. We had talked on the phone twice over the last several weeks. The conversations went pretty well considering what we were discussing. I liked that she seemed to act the way I think I would act in her position. I also think I acted the way she would act were she in my

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-36757670134092783422008-10-20T07:36:00.001-04:002008-10-20T07:36:01.041-04:00

Edited from Life in the White House:The doctor called yesterday morning (5/4/08) with the results of the testicular biopsy: Matt has no sperm.So we've had some time to grasp the reality that we won't be able to have biological children, just barely grasping it. I am one of those people who think about every possible circumstance before they happen, Matt is not.Matt doesn't like to think about

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-60810149482258657732008-10-19T07:38:00.000-04:002008-10-19T07:38:00.762-04:00

I believe that when you lose your spouse, you also lose many of your friends. After my husband’s very sudden, unexpected death I was surprised and hurt by the people who stopped contacting me. I was already isolated, living far from my family. My husband was an only child and his parent’s were elderly and unwell. I was alone in a huge house with my 22 month old twins. I was overwhelmed by

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-12427914748733977532008-10-17T07:37:00.000-04:002008-10-17T07:37:01.510-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-65314311464218082012008-10-16T15:12:00.000-04:002008-10-16T15:12:00.252-04:00

Having K--it's really, really, REALLY hard sometimes. There are so many complicating factors right now, and there's really no way to talk about just a part of it--so that's my way of warning you that this is probably going to be a really long post, and not always PC. I'll probably try to split it up, maybe when I just get tired (it's almost 11:30 on Saturday night and P had a friend sleep over

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-6258902047439320212008-10-16T14:22:00.000-04:002008-10-16T14:22:01.045-04:00

Oh GM & I can have some good days when there is a good day to be had. We seize the moments, we hold each other tight, and we swoon with mutual affection. Oh the good days are oh wonderful, oh so good. Lots of singing, lots of laughing, lots of silliness. And sometimes we cry. Sometimes we just don’t know who GM is and neither does she. These are the hardest moments, and I have written about them

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-902575729704480792008-10-14T15:21:00.000-04:002008-10-14T15:21:00.107-04:00

A few weeks ago my therapist sat across from me and asked about my homework (it's homework. And I get to pay �50 an hour for the privilege of doign homework. I'm finally in a form of private school, albeit sans ties and tacky knee socks). I'd had homework to do and done it I had, only I wasn't sure that it was correct. It was like math homework-I needed a key in the back with the answers to every

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-17811399568520925952008-10-14T07:10:00.000-04:002008-10-14T07:10:01.105-04:00

Dear Sweet Zoë and Lennox, Today is your official due date. It’s the date your daddy and I circled on all of our calendars even though we knew the likelihood of your putting in an appearance well in advance of today. It still gave us a concrete goal to look forward to. I liked the idea that you might have your birthday in the same week as your grandma and your aunt. That it would be spring. Then,

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-51938585411847011522008-10-13T19:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T19:00:00.395-04:00

I love a lot of people, for many different reasons. At one time it was easy for me to love everyone. With time, it became significantly harder. I chose better and gave my love with much more caution. Now, I give away pieces of my love at a time. Because those I love, I love with all my heart. I know I am loved and I love myself. Still, I know the world holds much more love for me, out there

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-43506894394974472402008-10-13T18:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T18:00:01.416-04:00

I've passed the cemetery walk my dog down thereI read the names in stone and say a silent prayerWhen I get home you're cooking supper on the stoveAnd the greatest gift of life is to know loveOooooooo(I don't know where it all begins)Oooooooo(And I don't know where it all will end)Oooooooo(We're better off for all that we let in) -- Indigo Girls, All That We Let In--from Weebles Wobblog

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-84900772376856327932008-10-13T17:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T17:00:01.064-04:00

My husband and I are not morning people.Very early one morning last December, my husband drove to the airport an hour and a half away to pick up my mother. Her redeye flight arrived at 6am. There happened to be a snowstorm at the time, so the drive took almost twice as long each way. Meanwhile, I was at the RE for a 7am blood draw and ultrasound for an injectable + IUI cycle.Neither of us

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-679996755262139572008-10-13T16:00:00.001-04:002008-10-13T16:00:06.679-04:00

Love between us has grown in the past nine years I have been with Erik. Love was getting butterflies in my stomach and having them not going away when we first met. Love was supporting each other as we lived thousands of miles apart. Love was standing by each other during college and as we started as our careers. Love when we got married knowing that each day we were going to stand together. Love

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-91028308830183711562008-10-13T15:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T15:00:00.176-04:00

It wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, days before fate intervened, I remarked, in response to a friend, that he was “arrogant” and “didn’t do anything for me” (I mistook diffidence for arrogance and I really hadn’t bothered to look very closely). But then the two of us found ourselves alone in a car. By time we arrived at our destination, I was a woman in love.Another friend once observed that

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-16523885938479474812008-10-13T14:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T14:00:00.345-04:00

The scent of industrial strength cleanerIn the hospitalNo help to be foundPutting you on the bedpanFinding warm wipes to ensure your comfortChanging your sheetsWashing your hair and bodyNo waiting for others to do itSleeping on a pull out twin bedConversations all nightListening to your moansCrying softly to sleepKeeping fear at bayBringing inspiration to keep living – a gospel vocalist from my

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-51711427736462884622008-10-13T13:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T13:00:00.439-04:00

My home town Christmas pageant 1992. We took our bows. As the music swelled I turned on cue to leave the stage. Unexpectedly he grabbed my arm with a strength I thought had left him years ago. “This” he said dropping character and turning to the audience “is my granddaughter... and last night she became engaged to the local baker.”The crowd gasped and then burst into riotous applause. I turned to

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-62862870588695739652008-10-13T12:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T12:00:00.989-04:00

Love. There's a lot of talk out there about finding "true love." A love that's unconditional. I found it two years ago when they placed my baby in my arms. Unbelievable. A love beyond words. Madly in love with my husband? Yes, but it was nothing like this. Knowing without a doubt that I would give my life for her. That I would love her no matter what. No strings. No conditions. Just

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-37225172811600836102008-10-13T11:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T11:00:02.150-04:00

My idea of love has changed so much over the years. During my earlier days, love was that giddy, dreamy feeling I got when a guy noticed me. As I approached my thirties, I looked at love from a whole new perspective. Love is secure and innocent, but at the same time completely frightening. It can feel warm like the summer sun on your face or icy like dark winter rain. Love is joyful and free,

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-77017304886584790132008-10-13T10:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T10:00:00.850-04:00

When I opened your email and saw your workplace and put two-and-two together and realized that you were You, I ran around in a circle on a small patch of carpet. I sat on the edge of the bed and jump up again. I paced. I spun around. You cannot sit still when you have the strongest feeling that you have just started the first minute of a journey with the man you will one day marry.I still

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-3680358631903273132008-10-13T09:00:00.001-04:002008-10-13T09:00:00.975-04:00

It was the fiercest love I’d ever felt; it happened instantly when I saw that little gummy bear. Months of heartache, pain, and prayers had been realized. After years of infertility and treatments, I was finally pregnant. I’m a worrier, so once I got that positive pregnancy test, I wanted to see a heartbeat and know this baby was viable. Two previous ultrasounds had revealed a growing blob,

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-19394391248780178922008-10-13T08:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T08:00:00.843-04:00

Walking to your bus stop, pushing our way through snow-filled sidewalks. We are just friends, but each of us knows it could be something more. You walk faster than I, crunching whiteness under your feet. “Alan.” I call your name once, and you turn around. The orange lamplight, snow falling on your parka, that smile… “I can’t walk that fast.” I move closer, you wait for me. Face to face, the city

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-59863495503358775732008-10-13T07:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T07:00:00.830-04:00

I was looking for something among a pile of papers today and found an envelope my mother sent me some time ago. In it was something I wrote in 3rd grade. I was 8. Yes, I remember very clearly the incident that inspired it. His name was Geoffrey. He was a redhead. I wonder if he’s bald now!The End of Love There once was a boy and a girl. They had fallen in love. The boy pretened he did not

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-47188051961725838452008-10-13T06:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T06:00:01.200-04:00

Movie night. Star Trek Club. “Excalibur” playing. No one sitting next to me, because I want it that way. Because he might sit next to me. Maybe. Will he be here? Ah. Yes. And the movie plays. And we talk. And talk. Another movie. Crowd thins until we are last. Until 3 a.m. We talked about Phantom of the Opera (my newest musical love). Next day he walked 20 minutes across campus in

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-29160692231041674752008-10-13T05:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T05:00:00.673-04:00

Perfect fingers, perfect toes.Tufts of hair beginning to emerge. Eyes fused shut.Two tiny little bodies, our precious girls.We touched them one last time, kissed the tiny foreheads, willed premature lungs to breathe.And finally let them go.I will never hear you cry, there won’t be a first word, my chin will never rest in your baby soft hair.But I still love you, fiercely and completely ... with

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-77296673362422314122008-10-13T04:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T04:00:00.941-04:00

الحب любов ljubav láska kærlighed Liefhebben love rakastaa aimer liebe αγάπη amore kjærlighet miłość amor iubire любовь kärlek prem mohabbat bhalobasha piyaar kadhal sneham...I see love in a smile, in the rain, in faded pictures.I hear love in laughter, in thank you’s, in songs, in the quiet.I feel love in a hug, in my heart, in a touch.I smell love in cologne, in a flower, in

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-59839754915335385612008-10-13T03:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T03:00:01.184-04:00

I was adopted as a five-day-old infant by parents who had yearned ten years for a baby. Throughout my childhood they showered me with hugs, kisses, tender words, family stories and quality experiences. They called me their chosen child. But still I wondered if I could I disappoint them enough that they would regret that choice. When I was twenty, Mama and I were taking about adoption and she

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-22350878245038383082008-10-13T02:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T02:00:00.915-04:00

My love for you, Tikva, is unconditional. Since before you were born, I had to love you unconditionally. Because I always knew the possibility that you might not live for very long. Because I might have had only the present moment to love you. In the hospital, all I saw was you, pure you. When I held you, your hand reached into my shirt and touched my heart. When it was your time, I loved you so

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-59714514588879371382008-10-13T01:00:00.000-04:002008-10-13T01:00:02.443-04:00

When I was 17, I wasn't sure I'd ever want kids. That changed in one tiny moment, one moment I will never forget. I was holding my nephew, and he was crying. I was holding him on my hip disdainfully. But then, in an instant, I looked at him and he looked at me. I don't know why, but we both smiled, we both started laughing. And my heart melted at this pure feeling, this consuming love. By heart

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-44190275294387685952008-10-13T00:01:00.000-04:002008-10-13T00:01:01.941-04:00

Every hour, from midnight until midnight on October 13th, we are running 100 words describing a memory, a story about a person, or an image on the theme of love. A single moment of intense love. Each post is a small snapshot into how a single person has experienced the emotions surrounding love.The screen will grow to fit all 22 posts and they'll be filed via a link on the label section of the

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-16364218339217016572008-10-12T07:06:00.000-04:002008-10-12T07:06:00.121-04:00

A friend called today with a few questions. Her friends in Seattle lost their six month old baby yesterday. Suddenly. Inexplicably. While she was at her first day of daycare. The baby wasn't eating, wasn't feeling well....when mama arrived she saw the paramedics....it was too late. Their baby died.My friend wanted to know...should she go? And....could she help, how could she help, should her

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-85570592176264684182008-10-10T07:56:00.000-04:002008-10-10T07:56:00.985-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-33944848040356463252008-10-09T15:16:00.000-04:002008-10-09T15:16:00.520-04:00

Hello, and thank you for reading on Hope's journey. I just wanted to add some of my thoughts. Hope's journey with short gut is unique, because we chose to forego extraordinary medical intervention. The hardest decisions that we as parents will ever be asked to make, are those that affect the lives of our children. We would like other parents to know that it is okay not to do everything that the

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-72812002053922700932008-10-09T07:21:00.001-04:002008-10-09T07:21:00.228-04:00

Tomorrow is National Depression Screening Day. This month is National Depression Awareness Month. Cali, traditionally a contributing editor for Alzheimer's Disease presents this post on depression.I realized this morning that I had not washed my hair on over a week. A full on, seven days. For whatever reason I just wasn’t motivated to do it. I didn’t care. I couldn’t muster up the energy for it

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-23368948464498741892008-10-08T15:17:00.000-04:002008-10-08T15:17:00.473-04:00

On Saturday night, Sarah, Pete, Charlie and I went to Elise and her husband's for dinner. We had an amazing time--laughing, talking, just enjoying each other. After dessert, we ended up just sitting around the table talking for hours. Something I haven't done since the days I was drinking and drugging... Maybe that's why I found myself talking about my using days. Elise asked a question, and

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-82657718720204004832008-10-08T07:07:00.000-04:002008-10-08T07:07:00.111-04:00

I can’t even count how many baby and children’s events I’ve had to decline or suffer through in the past few years. Baby showers, mother blessings, births, new baby visits, baby blessings, birthday parties. You know the joyful gatherings that infertile women tend to dread. (Of course this is on top of every other event that becomes child-centered when so many family and friends have kids, who are

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-90387592999736074152008-10-07T14:15:00.000-04:002008-10-07T14:15:01.009-04:00

"Tell me, do you like working?" he asked, pointedly."Oh, heavens, no! I hate it!" I reacted immediately, without even thinking. "I mean," I recovered, "I used to. I like the idea of working. I'm good at it. Or I used to be. You know, it's my field. But then I had all these kids, and really, that wasn't even the tricky part, it's just that then all this with the J-man and all this

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-52804059755982948122008-10-07T07:05:00.000-04:002008-10-07T07:05:01.098-04:00

Minefield, actually. This is how I have come to view the little triggers that can take me from zero to hysterical in 2 seconds. They are landmines, hidden dangers that I don't realize are there until they've triggered some memory of my pregnancy or the Doodles, and I realize I am crying. The worst part is that they are inescapable because they are everywhere. I was pregnant for so long that there

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-15742374157991674132008-10-06T15:02:00.000-04:002008-10-06T15:02:00.478-04:00

As with the topic of infertility, how the media portrays surrogacy has long been a point of contention among those involved in the respective communities. The media has a knack for latching on to either Wow, that's freakin' AWESOME! or What the flying flip were they thinking? surrogacy stories, such as the 51-year old who delivered her grandchildren or the recent whacked out Florida traditional

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-11635719316417226932008-10-06T07:28:00.000-04:002008-10-06T07:28:00.894-04:00

Edited from Life in the White House:We went for our first RE appt and we were really impressed with the place and pleased with the people. The doctor had looked at our info and decided that IVF with ICSI was our only option due to Matt’s 1st SA results. We went on: Matt did a 2nd SA, I had blood work and U/S done. We're good to go: "Call us on CD1, so we can send the meds on CD21".20 minutes

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-32616758897051375162008-10-06T07:26:00.000-04:002008-10-06T07:26:00.527-04:00

Jess is the contributing editor for Donor Insemination. She writes daily at Life in the White House.My husband and I met nine years ago, in high school: He was in band and I was doing a recitation for a piece they were playing. It took almost another year before either of us got up the nerve to ask out the other. Five and half years later we were married, this November we’ll be married three

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-43089751480343864062008-10-05T07:00:00.000-04:002008-10-05T07:00:00.553-04:00

If I had been asked before my son was born, my response would have been that it wasn't something I ever really thought about.I knew my dad's cousin and wife had adopted after their sons were born - twins (brother and sister) from Africa and a Malaysian girl - but it was never something that was discussed. When I was 17 I found out an old school friend had been adopted but I wasn't that curious

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-49220586998666594912008-10-03T07:34:00.000-04:002008-10-03T07:34:00.496-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-24357545342247486002008-10-02T15:13:00.000-04:002008-10-02T15:13:00.845-04:00

An original post for BridgesOne of the best things that my parents did for me as a child was to be open about the fact that I was adopted and to share what limited knowledge they had with me. I have no conscious memory of finding out that I was adopted, I just always knew. This was pretty advanced for the early 1970’s, a time which was known for secrecy and lies in adoption.One thing that I’ve

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-72609566504306188042008-10-02T07:31:00.000-04:002008-10-02T07:31:01.114-04:00

How can I explain what my life is like to people who don’t have a child with special medical needs? Is there any way they can even understand? I usually don’t even like trying to explain it, because it seems so daunting and I don’t want to be misunderstood as whining or complaining. I explained before that I really don’t feel like I deserve more kudos because I have a special needs child. If

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-19137304202228718732008-10-01T15:29:00.000-04:002008-10-01T15:29:00.443-04:00

It comes unexpectedly. A few days ago I was moody, irritable, snapping at everyone for no reason--and then I realized that it had been exactly four weeks since we lost Lucky. No wonder I was feeling that way. It is like the grief and sadness can eat away at you from the inside even while you are completely unaware of it.The next day I got my first post-miscarriage period. Damn. There is nothing

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-90933125721751644052008-10-01T07:26:00.000-04:002008-10-01T07:26:00.199-04:00

We have started to talk about it recently and it inspires in me a dark, deep-down fear. Your brother looks at the picture on this blog and chirps brightly, with grave knowledge, "That Darrett. That's Darrett in Momma's tummy.""And Saige," you chitter, "and Saige in your tummy."Garrett nods gravely. You do every thing together. It is all you know. You are far too innocent and unsullied by our

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-52548760671562311162008-09-30T14:59:00.000-04:002008-09-30T14:59:00.691-04:00

An original post for Bridges:As someone who has had to personally come to terms with never having a genetically related child, I often ponder how much of an influence genetics have on a person's behaviors, interests and aptitudes. It is the old "nature vs. nurture" debate although I think that is a poor phrase given that it is pretty well established that it is both nature and nurture. With the

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-79165833896186513652008-09-30T07:17:00.000-04:002008-09-30T07:17:01.472-04:00

This is a subject of endless debate on every relevant board or site I've visited.I understand the power of words and desire to put a positive spin on things. Perhaps childLESS does sound a little pathetic or forlorn (and if there's one thing I hate, it's being the object of pity). I may be "less" or lacking a child, but I don't believe that means my life is any less interesting or valuable or

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-22687455229691592482008-09-29T15:36:00.000-04:002008-09-29T15:36:01.072-04:00

Today whilst reading a lovely first mums blog, I came across a link to an adoptees blog who had written this post "Adoptees Listen Up", I started to write a comment but realized it was going to be a long one, and that I really felt that I needed a blog post about it on my own blog to say "I have to say I don't agree."But as one poster commented , whilst there may not be a *legal* right which of

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-7034251396756415342008-09-29T07:24:00.000-04:002008-09-29T07:24:00.455-04:00

Yesterday I took my baby to his first AA meeting.I realised, after much resistance to going, that I have only done about 3 meetings in five months. That is a looooooong time between drinks. Heh. I just felt so, so low. As my sister would say, the rats were doing the can-can in my head.I sat in that room, where I first sat 10 years ago, and looked around. 12 guys, none of whom I knew, and me.

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-56195360620981383982008-09-29T07:23:00.000-04:002008-09-29T07:23:00.699-04:00

Topcat is one of the contributing editor for Alcohol and Drug Addiction. She writes daily at Indisputable Topcat where she is parenting after infertility and navigating her husband's cancer.Topcat started her blog to document her IVF treatment. She got a BFP, so it became a pregnancy blog. Five days before Monkey was born, Mr Topcat got diagnosed with cancer. He was down in the big scary

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-78697623540023029642008-09-28T07:55:00.000-04:002008-09-28T07:55:00.889-04:00

One of Mama's many life lessons she wanted to instill in me was compassion: A profound and positive human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering... During a 2 day training course with the county, Matt and I did a mock trial of a mom losing her child to the system to get a glimpse of

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-48154325591114890582008-09-26T07:21:00.000-04:002008-09-26T07:21:00.263-04:00

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:What do you believe?andWhat have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-32493856854999793982008-09-25T15:45:00.000-04:002008-09-25T15:45:01.971-04:00

Let me just tell you that laughter is definitely the best medicine!Eric, Caleigh and I went to a Network Spinal Care doctor the other day. Our Feldenkrais practitioner suggested we try another therapy to compliment hers. She suggested Homeopathy, BodyTalk or Network Care. Her thought is that our bodies are holding in all the stress of the past year and a half. If we don't get rid of the stress

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-75355922281820296752008-09-25T07:14:00.000-04:002008-09-25T07:14:00.221-04:00

"I don't want to be a mom anymore!" I sobbed into his consoling, non-judgemental embrace four days after our daughter was born.What I wanted was a team of experts to stampede into my room and whisk her, and all her encroaching necessities, out of my house and life so that I could sleep for a month and then resume my life pre-pregnancy style. What happened instead was the beginning of an

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-73748731595774662592008-09-25T07:13:00.000-04:002008-09-25T07:13:00.257-04:00

Lil is also a contributing editor for Postpartum Depression. She is beginning to write about her experience with prenatal and postpartum depression at There is a Crack in Everything. She also blogs about daily life at From Maiden to Mother.This is like walking up to you in a bar and just blurting out stuff about me, hoping something will spark your interest and we'll connect. How about

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5581205101506685603.post-51268430960153962802008-09-24T15:20:00.000-04:002008-09-24T15:20:00.765-04:00

Sadly, I'm not talking about my boobs (which are real, and well, if you know me, that's never been an issue to warrant said headline).No, no, "They're Real" refers to MAM's food allergies. Now your thinking, "Um, duh, you found out a year ago, Michelle." And yes, we did find out a year ago this month. I was much more overwhelmed about them a year ago than I am today.But I am sad today because,

Lollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com0