Friday, October 3, 2008

True View Friday Open Thread

We did this last week and now we're doing it again. It's your turn to give us a glimpse into your world. Every Friday we will ask you to start the conversation by asking you two questions:

What do you believe?
What have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?

Your thoughts can either reflect inward, stating something you believe strongly or is commentary on your own experience or your thoughts can move outward, retelling something you've noticed or observed (a particular interaction with another person, the way you resolved a conflict, a wonderful connection) as you went through your week. You can also ask a question that is either directed towards all people or something you truly wish to understand about a community.

I like to think of this open thread similar to a two-dimensional Christmas advent calendar (so says the Jewish lady) where you peel back the little windows and you get a glimpse of the house underneath. Each comment is a small window in a world that is uniquely and wonderfully your own. And if you notice something amazing inside a comment, connect with the writer and let them know.

If you are stuck, try beginning your sentence with "I believe..." and then explain your reasons behind the thought.

In addition to providing a view into your world, please respond to a thought that someone else threw into the conversation by adding a (+) before the commentor's sign-off name and then adding your thoughts. In other words, when you open a new comment box, write

+lollipop goldstein--

and then your comment (eg. +lollipop goldstein--in asking us to present what we believed has opened a huge, messy can of worms*).

As I've already stated in the comment manifesto, all thoughts should be respectful. Points-of-view are, by definition, very personal and one person's thoughts are not meant to reflect everyone's thoughts within a community. Comments that attack another person, are hateful in nature, or are seen as simply picking a fight and not starting a conversation will be deleted.

So give us a glimpse into your world and teach us something new about your corner of the blogosphere. What do you believe? What have you observed? What do you want to ask? In other words, how do you view the world?

* This is probably true, but if we're not willing to talk out the hard topics, open our hearts to another person's world, listen, and build that bridge, there is little point to this site.


SeaStar said...

I'm sad this feature isn't drawing the notice I hoped it would - such a cool idea.

So, I'll do my part. I truly believe the stories we tell us about our circumstances are more important than our circumstances.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

+ Seastar

I agree. I'd love to bring back the conversation.

As someone who loves a good story, I have to agree with you if I understand what you mean.

My thought for the day: I take it personally when people are rude on the road. I know I need to get over this.

SeaStar said...

+lolipop goldstein - I understand the impulse to take rudeness, on the road or elsewhere, personally. I think I've gotten better in the last decade about realizing that 99% at least of what people do has nothing to do with me. Still, unpleasantness is unpleasant.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh.... I think I'm getting it now. I actually posted a story on my blog. Then I was going through the blogroll looking for other who had done so.

Got it! I'll do better next time.


SeaStar said...

++good Kathy - I went to your blog for your story. Never too late to move it over here. Makes me happy this morning to see another voice on board.

SeaStar said...

I know I
m posting and posting - but anybody who hasn't gone to read angrycanrn's post on her blog needs to - brilliant and profound and sad. And Kathy, I repeat, I hope you do move it over here. And folks, without giving the post away, remember, when someone is suffering a loss, ignoring and distancing may be easier for you, but unlikely for them. When my husband died years ago and my community was deeply supportive I developed a belief that too much is better than too little - hence my many comments on this feature this week.

N said...

It's Saturday but since I just saw this can I add in good faith? :)

Great, great post. I have never experienced the loss of a spouse but I related to how you felt from going through a difficult time with infertility and seeing the vast array of responses from friends. In fact, my beliefs will be in response to your post:

--I believe that few people can know how to relate to someone going through a challenging life situation unless they have been through some type of challenging situation themselves.

--On the flip side, I believe that it's quite difficult for anyone to do/say the exact right thing when you are suffering. When people would send baby shower invitations/announcements, I would think they were insensitive. When they wouldn't invite me at all, I would feel isolated. I believe in retrospect that the best thing you can do for yourself and for others when suffering is to tell them how YOU want to be treated during that time.

Anonymous said...

+Seastar, +n,

Thank you for your comments. The post is really too long to move over here, I think. But now that I understand how this works, I will write a more appropriate one for the topic next week.

I agree, too much is better than too little. The person who has suffered the loss is likely better able to say, "I need some time alone" than to be able to articulate "what" they need.

To n, I was incapable in the immediate aftermath of my husband's death to even imagine HOW I wanted to be treated. Some days I couldn't figure out how to put socks on. I understand and agree with your point on IF. I had the same dilemma when ttc. I hated to get shower invites.... but felt like a leper if I was left out.

I hope this feature takes off. It is another great idea from "Lollipop" and cohorts.