Monday, August 25, 2008

Crystal's Story

Crystal is the contributing editor for the Birth/Firstparent Perspective. She parents a pre-teen son and has an open adoption with her daughter's family. She writes at Crystal's Way.

I've been a mom since 1997. I was17 when my son was born. Four years later, I was pregnant again. But for various reasons I wasn't in a position to parent another child.

I weighed all my options and thought long and hard about what I wanted for my baby. Long story short, I chose adoption.

The parents I picked for my daughter have remained in an open adoption with me. None of us knew at the time what this would look like, but I am pleased to say that we have created a warm relationship based on love and respect rather than on obligation. Placing my child was extremely difficult (I won't lie), but I have not had any regrets.

My daughter's mom (I know that sounds strange) and I work together to help others create successful open adoptions. Teaching it means that we've had to analyze what we accidentally figured out. I think it mostly comes down to trust and love. Trust in ourselves and in each other. And love for a little girl that overflows so much we all swim in it.

Our families are bound together. And I am so happy about that.


luna said...

crystal, I am so thrilled you are telling your story and have joined bridges!

SeaStar said...

Crystal, reading your perspective on open adoptionin inspiring and personally sweet. Bac when I was adopted as an infant, in 1950, open adoption was not an option my families considered - BUT, the great thing my birth parents did for me was leave letters about their story and their reasons for initiating my adoption. Even this much openness really helped me settle issues of where I came from. Tessa is one fortunate and loved little girl. And I commend you and Tessa's mom for teaching others how to do open adoptions. You are passing on your own hard earned gift, and that kind of passing it on is what Joseph Campbell describes as the "Heroe's journey."