Tuesday, August 26, 2008

“I’m Not Sick. You Made That Up.”

Being sick is horrible. Being sick and a person with Alzheimer’s is the worst. There have been so, so many moments where I have been shocked by the cruelty of Grandmother’s disease. Moments where I felt like the disease was a soul eraser or personality invader. But watching and taking care of GM while she copes with the final stages of a stomach virus is probably one of the hardest things I have been through. Ever.

It didn’t help that she got sick while both Mother & I were still in the throes of the illness ourselves. Not that anyone ever plans and schedules an illness, but as far as timing goes this was pretty insane. And let’s not forget BG Talula who is still doing all that she can to pass her kitty kidney stone and requiring blended cat food and lots of cleanups on aisle 9.

But with GM this stomach virus brought about so many blips. The moment of her extreme sickness, on the commode with a giant bowl in her lap, Mother and I at her feet on the cold bathroom floor, were so tragic. Lots of crying and lots of pleading with us to make it stop. “Help me”, she would plead in a whisper, her voice raspy from throwing up. And we didn’t have anything to help her except gentle strokes on her back or cool compresses on her neck.

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Calliope is the contributing editor for Alzheimer's Disease. She writes daily at Creating Motherhood, where is walks the line between taking care of the older generation while creating the next generation. She lives with and cares for her grandmother who has Alzheimer's.

1 comment:

SeaStar said...

Calliope, I had trouble reading htis post. It brought back so many awful memories of the years when my mother was suffering with dementia and was so combative in her fear and confusion, biting, kicking, hitting. It was hard to take care of her and had to be so much harder to BE her. Thank you for your honest words, which will help people struggling with supporting family members with dementia feel less alone.