Am I ChildLESS or ChildFREE?

This is a subject of endless debate on every relevant board or site I've visited.

I understand the power of words and desire to put a positive spin on things. Perhaps childLESS does sound a little pathetic or forlorn (and if there's one thing I hate, it's being the object of pity). I may be "less" or lacking a child, but I don't believe that means my life is any less interesting or valuable or valid than a parent's. It's just different.

But to me, childFREE isn't quite right either, because it implies that we are happy to be "free" of children, as though we consider them a burden, when nothing could be further from the truth. It does not reflect the battle we went through to try to have a very much wanted child, or our struggle in trying to decide when enough was enough and when we should stop treatment, or the struggle we've had to find new meaning in our life since then. If I am FREE of anything, it is the burden of infertility treatment!!

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Loribeth is the contributing editor for Living Child-Free after Infertility or Loss. She writes daily at The Road Less Travelled where she tells the story of her daughter as well as life after the stillbirth and infertility.