I haven't talked much about Sam's first family here on Ye Olde Blogge for a number of reasons. Part of it is because his story belongs to him and I want to hold it in trust for him and give it to him in pieces as he grows, so that he hears it from us and not from random strangers. It doesn't seem fair that the whole world should know his life's history before he does. I also feel pretty strongly that T. & E. deserve their privacy, something that I'm finding a lot of people in my day-to-day life don't really understand.
I know that their desire to know more about Sam's first parents isn't necessarily motivated by malice. And I know that the stereotyping they do is because they are uneducated about adoption and because they think if they diminish T. & E., they increase my role as Sam's "forever mother." But I just can't let it go. I feel protective of T. & E. I want to shield them from people's inquiries and I know it's aggravating for folks (heck, I'm pissing a lot of people off these days!) but honestly? It's none of their business. T. & E. chose to place their son into our care, yes. They didn't choose to be stereotyped and have their personal lives exposed along with it and I won't be a party to that.
Case in point: we were at a gathering a week or two ago. An older friend came over to coo at Sam and rejoice with us that our long wait was over. I mentioned that we'd been having some trouble finding a formula that he liked and we'd recently switched to a specific brand on the advice of Sam's firstmom. T. had said it worked like a charm for Sam's brother. Our friend looked at me and barely missing a beat said: "Oh! Did she give that one away too?"
Vacant Uterus is a guest blogger at Bridges.