Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Girl Who Knew Too Much

The thought of surrogacy fleetingly crossed my mind a time or two before Frank and I ever attempted pregnancy for ourselves. Then we battled against IF and I learned about fear. If not for that struggle I might still be here today as a surrogate, but I know that my mental position would not be the same.

Dare I say that infertility has become almost a cursed blessing of sorts? Infertility is a curse no matter how you look at it, but I have come far enough past my personal strife that I can recognize the ways in which my character has been shifted for the better. I love stronger. I try harder. I empathize deeper, and therein lies the curse. Empathy is funny like that; it is an attractive personality trait to have, but at the same time, when you're that close to the root of what empathically connects you to another's struggle, you can wake up and find yourself in a very dark place.

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Kymberli is the contributing editor for Surrogacy (Surrogate Point-of-View). She writes daily at I'm a Smart One where she chronicles her life as a gestational surrogate after her own struggle with infertility.

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