Marriage

I often wonder why my dad decided to marry my mom. They only knew each other for 6 months before they were married. I asked him but he gave me very vague answers. They loved each other. I do think that they found a place where they did indeed love each other but it was mixed with so much sorrow and pain. My father knew he was gay from a very early age. I think he said 6 or 7. I can't help but think that my father used my mother to portray himself as a straight guy. I think she used him as well but for very different reasons. It bit them both in the ass less than ten years later but that is a different blog. I have often felt that my brother and my existence was simply to help create the illusion of my father's straight life. I don't doubt that he loved me or my brother, we were really cute kids what's not to love, but we didn't fit into his life. Certainly not as children, as adults we were necessary (see above blog) to his sanity.

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Jen is the contributing editor for Child of a GLBT Parent. She writes about her family at Kids of Queers.